I’ve heard on good authority, though – from couples who’ve been together (married) for years – that the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship is, in fact, giving the other person space and taking space for yourself.
In this context, space is defined as spending time apart from each other.
It’s not to be taken as trying to get away from the person (although it might be depending on how you look at it) but more like giving yourself and the other person time to engage in other activities that have nothing to do with your relationship!
And the best thing about this is that it actually works to strengthen your relationship and the bond.
Let’s have a look at how you have a healthy relationship and why it is it so important to create space in relationships, shall we?
1. Space helps the relationship to remain in balance
Have you ever heard the saying – there is a time and a place for everything?
By the same token, there are times that you and your significant other spend together and times that you spend apart.
You cannot possibly want to spend every waking moment with your significant other, however much in love you think you are with this person.
There comes a time when you are spending too much time with your partner and you begin to get on each other’s last nerve.
This will happen to anyone.
If you spend an inordinate amount of time with someone (anyone) day in and day out, you will run the relationship into the ground. At some point, one or both of you will start to feel smothered by the other.
That is usually what people mean when they refer to someone as being “clingy”.
2. It is often said that women fall in love in a man’s presence, and men fall in love in a woman’s absence – or something to that effect
Yet again, in this instance there needs to be a balance.
We women need to be in a man’s presence just enough to learn about who he is and what he stands for to determine if he is right for us and if he is someone we’d like to spend more time with.
Men (and women) need to have enough time away from their significant other or from the person they are dating in order to be able to “miss them” and have the other person long for them.
If you are always around, the longing or desire that is sparked from not being in someone’s presence cannot present itself.
That longing/desire can also be referred to as attraction. In order to boost attraction, you must create the space to enable the feeling of “missing” the other person to occur.
3. That space allows you and the person you are seeing to have other experiences outside of the relationship
When you two are not together, you must be involved in other activities either alone or with other people. It is this involvement in other activities that makes you interesting and multidimensional.
That is what gives you depth since you are being exposed to other things; people and events when you are not in each other’s presence. You then have loads to talk about when you are finally in each other’s presence.
You can talk about what happened at the game last night; how projects are progressing and all the other interesting things that happened to you both.
This also brings balance to the relationship as each of you is sharing experiences, positive of negative. This helps to deepen the bond between you two.
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